The Good and Bad of Kindy September 14, 2009

After I posted my Note To Nicklas about his first day at kindy, I went downstairs to see a missed call on my phone and a message from kindy asking me to call them. When I called, they said he was really upset again, and it was probably best if I went to get him. When I got there he was sitting in a high chair with his lunch. Note I didn’t say “eating” lunch, just “with” his lunch. He was having a fine time playing with his chicken and mushroom risotto, and it was all over the tray, the floor, and him. As soon as he saw me he started bawling, but as soon as I picked him up, he burried his head in my shoulder and grinned at the girls, as if to say, “See, I told you I’d get her back here.” They showed me a finger painting he did and, biased as I am, I thought it was brilliant. When I pointed out it was much better than any of the others’, my husband pointed out, “Yeah, but they were all 6 months old.” Touche.

That was Tuesday. Wednesday we picked Mike up from work and headed back to kindy to let him have a play while we were with him. And he was fine, he didn’t want to leave! Thursday we had a little playgroup with 4 other bubs (all girls – I’m sure he’ll love that in a few years) and then Friday he went back to kindy. Again, he took ages to settle down – almost 40 minutes to be exact. I ended up picking him up after about 2 hours, and when I got there, I peered through the window in the door and he was just fine! I considered leaving, and letting mum pick him up while I was at school, but thought it better if I went in and got him, so that he realised I will always come back for him. The staff think he’ll be fine, it will just take him a while to get used to them and the centre, or he will always just take a while to settle down.

Friday night, he got sick, and has been sick ever since. He hasn’t had a fever in over 24 hours though, so I think now it is just a cold. I’m hoping he’ll kick it before tomorrow morning so he can go to kindy, but I’m not getting my hopes up too high as I think it is probably unlikely. I know this is just the start of probably many-a-cold to come, now that he is going to daycare. But my hope is that his immune system gets nice and strong and soon enough he won’t pick up any of it! That’s how it is supposed to work, right?

He has had 3 really unsettled nights and has ended up in bed with us. I hope that we can get him back to sleeping through the night in his own cot! I also hope we can teach him to blow his nose soon, as it is so full of snot!

I am starving, and need to have lunch, but I know as soon as I post this and head downstairs, he’s going to wake up. I might have to go have a play around on facebook or DPS for a little while, just so I can continue to enjoy the silence. He’s a typical male…a huge sook when he’s sick! Ok, so that might be more due to the fact that he’s only 14 months old than the fact he’s a boy, but still…

A Note to Nicklas September 8, 2009

Dear Nicklas,

Today, you started kindy (aka daycare in the US or childcare in Australia), and I am sitting here at home and cannot stop thinking about you. I am wondering what you are doing, what you have eaten, who you have played with, whether or not you will go to sleep for Jaz and Claire…

This is supposed to be a win-win situation – socialisation for you, and a mini-break for me. But how can I relax when all I’m doing is worrying about you? I have even tidied and vaccuumed the whole house, just trying to take my  mind off whether or not you are ok.

This morning when I was with you at kindy, you were happy, but I saw your face when I left, through the window in the door. About 45 minutes later I got a phone call from Jaz saying you had been really upset and had taken about 15 minutes to settle. She assured me you were happy again, had eaten morning tea and you were playing with some toys, but still I worry.

You are in the babies room, but really belong in the toddler room. I am hoping that as soon as a spot comes available they’ll move you up. It broke my heart to see you sitting in the babies outdoor area, watching the kids your size and bigger playing on the playground and in the sandpit. There was a little girl in there who took a liking to you, and I watched as the two of you tried to figure out how to open the gate so you could go play with her. I’m convinced if you had started in that room, you’d have been fine when I left. I’d have already lost you to another woman! Perhaps it is a good thing you are in the babies room!

When Jaz called she said she’d call me if you got really upset again. They don’t want bubs getting too upset and associating negative feelings with the centre, or you won’t want to go back. So here I sit, writing you a letter, just waiting for my phone to ring with a message to come pick you up.

It’s only been 2 1/2 hours since I left you and I’ve missed you ever minute of it. Its never this bad when you’re with nanna or granddad. Your mum is just a giant sook. A giant sook who loves you very much, and hopes you’re having a great time and can’t wait to see you.

All my love,
Mum

Disgusted August 20, 2009

I don’t know why news like this still surprises or elicits any kind of emotional response from me, but I’m so disgusted with the way some people behave. I have two case-in-points for this one (this second, in 5 minutes I might have a few more cases).

First, those of you who know me know that I am an avid hockey fan. And as a hockey fan, more specifically an NHL fan, I have enjoyed being able to brag to my football-fan-friends about how great NHL players are. They are well-behaved, do a lot of work for charities, and are rarely, if ever found on the front page of a newspaper for doing something illegal. I used to be able to count on one hand (two fingers to be exact) the number of times I’d heard of an NHLer getting into trouble with the law. One barely even counts, as it was a buck’s night (bachelor party) and they were simply asked by hotel management to keep the noise down. Another was when a has-been goalie got into a fight in a bar and was arrested. Outside of that, I can’t off the top of my head think of another time in the last few years that I’ve heard of a hockey player in trouble.

Until this week, when rookie sensation and Chicago Blackhawks player Patrick Kane was charged with assaulting a 62-year old cabbie because he didn’t have the $0.20 change Kane and his cousin were due. They beat him up over TWENTY CENTS, THEN they took the fare money and cleared off!

Now, if you go and google Patrick Kane, one of the first links that comes up is a link to a youtube video titled “Hockey’s Finest”. What a load of rubbish that is. He may have some skill on the ice, but he clearly has a lot of growing up to do. When he issued a public apology, he apologised for putting himself in the wrong place at the wrong time! Not for giving a 62 year old bruises and broken glasses. That, in my book, can’t even be considered an apology.

Now I know that Kane is only 20 years old, but c’mon. “Only” 20 years old? That is old enough to know better if you ask me. Yet somehow the kid has still managed to find himself representing the US in the next winter Olympics. That’s great punishment. I’m just so disgusted that people can behave this way and get away with it. An article I just read said that the Kanes, if convicted, could face up to a year in jail. Gee I bet they’re making their parents proud right now. I would be so dissappointed in my son if he ever did something like that. And I’m disappointed in Kane for…well for everything about this situation. He’s an embarrassment to the NHL. I have probably typed very similar words in regards to Australia’s very own Nick D’Arcy…another athlete with an out of control temper that landed him in some big trouble.

He’s not my other “case-in-point” though. This time its a woman, who rammed a police car, fled home (police followed her) and when they tried to arrest her, she STABBED THE POLICE DOG and lunged at officers. Of course the headlines this morning were “Woman shot by police after…” blah blah blah. I’m sorry, but if you stab a police dog and lunge at officers you deserve to get shot in the shoulder. AT LEAST in the shoulder! I might have taken aim at a foot or a leg or something, too.

There’s just so many stories out there that make me sit and think, “What the fuck is wrong with people?”

The iPhone August 18, 2009

When the iPhones first came out we were still living in the States. I couldn’t believe how much money people were spending on them! Then I couldn’t believe they were so pissed off that the prices dropped so quickly. But no, they had to line up overnight and be one of the very first to get, what I considered to be, an overrated piece of junk technological gadget. How long ago was that, now? Two years? I had never been one to use my phone as anything more than just that…a phone. I didn’t care about how many pixels the camera had or what kind of calendars or other functions (or “apps”) my phone had as long as I could make and receive a call. So I stuck with my little Nokias and Samsungs and whatever elses.

Fast forward to a few months ago. Our phones were starting to deteriorate quickly (thanks to baby drool…where did that come from I wonder?) and we kept trying to get a loyalty upgrade from our service provider. My husband decided he wanted an iPhone. Well boy did I start giving him grief over that. “Why would you want an iPhone? What is so great about iPhones? They’re so overrated” yadda, yadda, yadda. I still had no idea what phone I was going to get but was looking at a Samsung Omnia, or the Blackberry storm (speaking of overrated techological gadgets). While Mike was in Sydney for work I wondered into the store to see if we were eligible for the free loyalty upgrade yet and we were. An hour later I walked out of the store with two iPhones.

I thought I would wait until Mike got home from Sydney before opening them up and setting up my phone etc. But when I found my phone in Nicklas’ mouth (again) and realised the buttons were stuck thanks to baby drool (again) I decided to set it up then and there. FOUR HOURS LATER I finally put it away and went to bed.

Ever since I have been an iPhone convert. I love it! We only got the 8g 3G phones because they weren’t sure when another shipment of 3Gs would come in and they tend to disappear pretty quickly once they come in anyway. So we don’t have video on them but that isn’t a big deal. So far I’ve downloaded a few free apps including a twitter and facebook app, as well as some games. There’s even a grocery list app that lets you create a weekly list and then add the price and a picture etc. so you know what your bill will be. That will come in very handy! My favourite so far though is the rag doll toss!

The only gripe I have is that so far I’ve pretty much had to charge my battery every day. I don’t know if the battery is supposed to die that quickly, but I do use it quite a bit so it wouldn’t surpise me.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go search for more apps to add while the little one is sleeping!

Learning August 11, 2009

So a couple of weeks ago I started my graduate certificate program at university. This program consists of 4 classes and once they’re completed, I can do 4 more classes to complete my masters degree. I’m not going to lie, going to class again is making me feel pretty old and stupid. The teacher asks questions, and we all sit there blankly. Considering there’s only 2 of us in the class whose first language is English, its not surprising. But at least 55 of the other students have a semi-legitimate excuse.

To make matters worse, we have an exam in 2 weeks. Yesterday I bought another notebook and I’m going to transfer all my notes into that notebook. I have always used re-writing notes as a learning tool. I can read it 10 times, and it won’t sink in as well as it will if I re-write it once.

The benefit to this class is that if we keep a dedicated notebook for this class and write our thoughts, notes, ideas, etc in it and let the teacher see it, he’ll let us use it for the exam.

I’ve wondered more than once during class, “What am I doing here, and not in a photography class?” I’m hoping this class will help my general business skills which will either help my small business I’m trying to start, or be a good backup for when my business fails. Haha! Such confidence I have in myself.

It will be interesting to see how the other students in my class go with the exam. I can’t even imagine going to another country and studying in their language when I don’t know the language very well. Perhaps they can read/write it better than they can speak/respond to it? I know when I studied French and Japanese that was the case for me.

In any case I’m glad I’m only doing 1 of the 4 classes this semester. There’s no way I’d be retaining all the info for more than 1 class!

Mid-Life Crisis August 6, 2009

I may not technically be “midlife” yet, but I think its definitely a crisis. While I’m not going out dating men half my age or buying ferraris, I have a bit of a “Where has my life gone?” type of feeling. I had coffee with a friend of mine yesterday whose dr told her that most if not all women go through some kind of MLC once they are married, have kids and are in their 30s.

The most overwhelming feeling I have is “Is this it? This is my life?” When we’re little we have these huge, unlimited dreams of what we can be, what we will have, what we will do. And in your 20s you still think those things are attainable. I wasn’t at all worried about turning 30. But now that I’m “in my 30s” I can’t help but wonder, is this as good as its going to get?

I love being a mum, and I do understand and believe that it is one of, if not the most important job a woman could ever have. If its a job they choose to have at all. But is there something wrong with wanting to be more than “just a mum”? Why can’t we have kids and a career and a happy household? Does a career have to be defined as a job you do 5 days a week, 10 hours a day? At this point I’d settle for a job, anything to help contribute financially to this family. A career can come later when the kids are a bit older. But the feeling of helplessness and the thought of having to compete for jobs with 20-somethings who don’t have kids…it seems impossible. It seems like its too late to have everything I ever wanted.

The thought of having another child, and going through all this again is a bit daunting. I think I want another child, and want Nicklas to have a brother or a sister, but the thought of going through pregnancy and labour again…its something I could do without. Nicklas has just started sleeping through the night, and he’s getting into a routine. He’s at a really fun age. Having another baby puts us back at square one.

Well I’d love to sit here and dwell on all this a bit longer (like it will help) but there’s cleaning to be done and text books to be read. Definitely not what I thought would be on my “to-do” list at the age of almost-31.

When To Worry July 31, 2009

As a parent, a relatively new one at that, it is hard to know when to worry about your child. Ask my husband, he will tell you that in the past I have been one huge worry wart. I worried about things I didn’t even know about! You would think that would be a recipe for disaster, or at the very least ulcers, when the time came to be a mum.

Strangely enough, the opposite has happened and I find myself being less of a worrier. I should clarify here, that it has taken me 13 months to get to this point. There was a period there when any time someone else had my son, I thought, “What if I never see him again?” and that was not a pleasant feeling. But yesterday we took Nicklas to the emergency room (more on that in a second) and it was me telling my husband that everything would be fine.

I think I’ve just finally come to the realisation that there is no use worrying over nothing…there’ll be plenty of time for worrying when there’s something to actually worry about.

Last night, while my husband was giving Nicklas his bath, he called me upstairs to look at something. I thought Nicklas must have been doing something cute, like always, but instead Mike asked if I thought Nicklas’ belly looked bigger than usual. We got him out of the bath and started to get him dressed and his belly did seem rather inflated and felt quite hard. He was showing no signs of discomfort or pain, and was actually giggling whenever we poked his belly. But a quick google search of “swollen hard belly” brought up nothing good. It never does! So off to the ER we went, still not even sure if there was any swelling.

Now, we live in Australia, where there is both public healthcare and private. We have private healthcare, not necessarily by choice, but we have it. So off to the private hospital we went, thinking our wait would be much shorter than that at the public hospital. We were in, seen, x-rayed and home within an hour of leaving the house, so that part was great. The not-so-great part was the $200 bill and the doctor’s look of “What are you talking about? This child is in perfect health!”

We should get some of the $200 back from the public healthcare system, but it will probably be less than half. I guess my lesson here is that unless he is upset, seems to be in pain or copious amounts of blood are spewing from his body, it can probably wait until the morning when the dr’s office, who bulk bills, is open.

That said, a virtual friend of mine has since mentioned that her daughter’s only cancer symptom was a swollen and hard belly. She was otherwise in great spirits. So it just goes to show, sometimes you are better safe than sorry!

Neighbours, Everybody Needs Good Neighbours July 20, 2009

We have never really spent any time with any of our neighbours – a few small conversations here and there. Well last night Mike spent an hour with one of our them…digging up pavers and dirt! We have a burst pipe in our back yard and our kind neighbour helped hubby locate the leak.

I am so frustrated. Why do little things like this have to happen? Now I’m sitting at home waiting for the plumber to call back and hoping that he’ll be able to get by here today.

As a thank you to our neighbour, I baked some banana bread this morning and took it over to them. I hope it was good, I didn’t cut it to check the inside because I wanted it to look like the perfect loaf of banana bread. Oh well, hopefully if it was bad they’ll realise its the thought that counts. HA!

Its just a shame it takes something like this to making a connection with your neighbours. I remember growing up with knew several of the people who lived in the cul-de-sac. But as an adult I have never been overly friendly with any neighbours. I guess that is a sign of the times though. I think people move more often now, and are too busy with their own lives to think about those around them. Last night I was glad for our neighbours…hubby never would have found the water shutoff if it wasn’t for them!

Donations and Karma July 18, 2009

A quick karma story for you…

We were on our way to our friends place for a late lunch/early dinner this arvo, and we stopped at the liquor store to get some wine. I saw the lifeguard standing out front with his bucket, collecting donations. I always feel bad not giving to the lifeguards because they do such a thankless job. They volunteer their time to save lives, most of which belong to idiots who probably shouldn’t have been out in the ocean in the first place. But I digress.

On the way in he said, “Good afternoon, welcome to Dan Murphy’s.”  I said thank you and smiled and went in. Standing in line I realised I had about $3 in my wallet that I wasn’t going to be using, so figured the least I could do was put $1 in the bucket. I had the $1 in my hand on the way out, dropped it in the bucket and headed for my car.

As I got to my car, I saw a small gold coin on the ground…$2! What goes around comes around! I don’t think giving the lifeguards $1 makes me a good person, but it just seemed like a message from the universe that good deeds do get rewarded. Some faster than others. And we should remember that one day, it might be us that needs someone to show us some good faith.

Busy Times July 14, 2009

I started to say its been busy around here, but I don’t know how much of it is busy-ness and how much of it is just time flying by?

I often feel like I do “nothing”, but we were recently selected for a public roads/transport survey (as a side note I’m sure they delivered them to everyone in hopes that at least a few people would complete the actual survey) and I sat down to go over it. It asked you to fill out a travel form for just one day, and it gave you the day of the week to use. You were supposed to complete a form for each member of your household over 5 years old. The form gave space for 15 “stops” in the day, and you had to record your every movement.

My day was Saturday. So as they are coming back next weekend to pick the survey up, I used last Saturday. At first I thought, “This will be easy, we don’t go anywhere!” I completed my husband’s form and it was easy. He stayed home doing household chores in the morning and watched Nicklas in the afternoon while I went out.

I moved on to my form and realised just how busy I had been. Saturday morning I dropped Nicklas with nanna while I went to take engagement pictures of my sister and her fiance (they got engaged last Tuesday so probably lots of bridal-themed blogs coming your way!). I then went to pick Nicklas up, took him home, had lunch, went to tennis, stopped at the grocery store on the way home, cooked dinner, ate, went out to a local restaurant to meet some other mums (no husbands and no children allowed!) and came home. It is no wonder time is going so quickly!

This week I enrolled in my first class for my Graduate Certificate degree. I’m officially a student again and am wondering what on earth I have done? Classes start in a couple of weeks and the class I’ve enrolled in is Friday afternoons, 3-5:50 pm. I almost enrolled for a Thursda 6-8:50 pm class but since we’ve been home, I’ve been asleep before 9 pm more times than not.

I have also been getting more and more into photography, and have started a blog over at blogspot to keep track of some of my photography. I’m hoping to see improvements in the coming months. I’ve also finally added a new post to my photocards blog.

Now I HAVE to get some cleaning done and hang out the laundry while Nicklas is asleep!